Too many titles and mix in some irony.

Food-borne illness investigator, health inspector, Larry the Cable Guy, occasionally the "Evil" health inspector, regulator and educator. These are some of the titles I have received during my career with the Department of Public Health. Yes, the  Larry the Cable Guy thing is true. During a week of inspections, I was called by Larry the Cable Guy by three different restaurant patrons. Did he really have to do that movie?? I guess I am a bit cable guy-ish.  It would be because I wear a baseball hat (VSU!!), because I am a large man and I have facial hair.

Regulator is a title I find to be appropriate during this pregnancy. Amanda does not call me the regulator though. She has chosen "Salt Nazi." I am the Salt Nazi because Amanda is the Salt Queen. The last thing we need is Amanda's blood pressure rising to the point of her being put on bed rest for a third of the pregnancy. So I am Salt Nazi, Caffeine Patrol, Anti-Cold Deli Meat Coalition (will have more on this shortly) and all around pain in the ass for Amanda. But isn't that the role of loving husband?? I am simply trying to make this the best, smoothest pregnancy known to mankind (or womankind) haha.

 Get ready, you are about to get SCHOOLED. My tenure as a restaurant health inspector has implanted several key pieces of information in my noggin that will be key during this pregnancy. The biggest one would be the dangers associated with the bacteria known as Listeria monocytogenes. Some of you might have heard about the most recent outbreak of Listeria that occurred nationwide involving cantaloupes. It has killed 30 people nationwide and countless others were sick from it. Sure, your average health person in their 20's-40's will simply have a case of the Hershey squirts. For immune-compromised people (young children, old people and PREGNANT WOMEN), it can be a lot more serious. According to the CDC, L. monocytogenes infections in pregnancy can cause miscarriage, stillbirth, premature delivery, or life-threatening infection of the newborn. HOLY CRAP!!!!! Nothing short of STARTLING people.

Listeria is capable of growth in cold environments. YES this means your fridge is no match for this bacteria. Very few bacteria are stable in cold environments. Listeria is seen a lot in temperature abused deli meats. When Amanda wants her usual turkey on wheat from Subway, there will be no chance in HELL she will get a sandwich that hasn't had the deli meat nuked first. Pregnant ladies, do not consume cold deli meats just to be safe. Ask your sandwich artist to nuke the pants off of your deli meats. Georgia Food Code requires restaurants to discard items that have been kept for 7 days or longer. After 7 days, Listeria would have a high possibility of being an issue. That does not mean a restaurant won't sell you a sandwich with old ass meat on it. It just means they will be reprimanded for it during inspection or even more be the source of a food-borne illness investigation, which is not exactly good for business.

The irony is I have not been sick all year. But I'll be damned, I have been sick twice since we found out Amanda is pregnant... This goes back to the immune-compromised thing. She has a weakened immune system. I am now the walking bacteria. Go figure. That is all for tonight. Rant over.


WAIT!!! HOLD ON A MINUTE!!! Don't forget to do the same thing at home people. Pregnant women, microwave your deli meats and discard them after 7 days from purchase just to be safe. Actually, their is probably a better chance of Listeria infection from home than a regulated restaurant. That's it for tonight. I promise.

Due Date Countdown: 218 DAYS