Was that a Hamburger or a Turtle??

I'm late in my blogging, been busy enjoying the holidays with my wife and family.

RECAP:
Went to Valdosta to visit the In-Laws
Got OODLES of baby furniture and stuff
Packed the Sorento to the max with baby things
Came home and had a WONDERFUL Christmas
Ate delicious food (too much of course)
And finally took the decorations down and deep cleaned the apartment

While I was at work this week, I realized that the two days we have our 16 week appointment and potential early gender determination, I will be in Gainesville for state Swimming Pool/Tourist Accommodations training. That means we will have to push our appointment until the following week. BOO! Hopefully waiting a week will help us pin down the sex of the baby. Imaging technology and software have become much more advanced since I was in utero. So when we go in to see, hopefully we can SEE!!

Running tally would put the boy/girl vote at 50/50 (ok, no one has actually tallied). The majority (probably 75%) of my family thinks it will be a boy. The majority of Amanda's family (again, probably 75%) think it will be a girl. So the whole family is going to be quite excited when the results are in.

In non-baby news, there is only a couple more days until my Dad (Big Papi, his chosen grandpa name. LOL) and I are in Jacksonville for the TaxSlayer.com Gator Bowl. This will be my first Ohio State Buckeye football game and I cannot wait!! Especially since Ohio State has been banned from bowl games next season. It is going to be sweet!!!

My parent's dog Brutus is excited for the baby. Can't you tell? The Christmas season just takes it out of him! Or it might be that he is just a lazy-ass basset hound. Who knows..

Countdown to Due Date: 208 DAYS

P.S. Thanks Kyle (a.k.a. Dragon Aficionado) for the inspiration for my title.

Christmas Gift

Amanda and I traveled to Valdosta to spend some time with her family. This includes my Mother-in-law a.k.a MiMi (her new grandma name). An angel associated with her graced us with copious quantities of baby furniture and stuffs. Seriously, it is EASILY hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth. I don't know what we did to deserve such a gift, and our deepest gratitude and appreciation to this Angel and MiMi for setting all of this up.

So I am getting my practice in with my new gear. I am not TRYING to look like a hard ass. I am a hard ass, LOL. I can see it now. Baby Hively and I strolling through the isles of our favorite stores checking out the swag and doing some shopping. We are going to be a great pair!! I do have a new goal though. That bad boy is a bit snug.

So time to get less fat. Virtually impossible to do during or after pregnancy but I am going to try. I want to be a healthy, well healthier than my current state. I want to be in Amanda and Baby Hively's lives for as long as I can. It would be irresponsible for me not to get healthier.

All in all, this is turning out to be a wonderful holiday season and cannot wait for what is to come.

Countdown to due date : 213 DAYS

Too many titles and mix in some irony.

Food-borne illness investigator, health inspector, Larry the Cable Guy, occasionally the "Evil" health inspector, regulator and educator. These are some of the titles I have received during my career with the Department of Public Health. Yes, the  Larry the Cable Guy thing is true. During a week of inspections, I was called by Larry the Cable Guy by three different restaurant patrons. Did he really have to do that movie?? I guess I am a bit cable guy-ish.  It would be because I wear a baseball hat (VSU!!), because I am a large man and I have facial hair.

Regulator is a title I find to be appropriate during this pregnancy. Amanda does not call me the regulator though. She has chosen "Salt Nazi." I am the Salt Nazi because Amanda is the Salt Queen. The last thing we need is Amanda's blood pressure rising to the point of her being put on bed rest for a third of the pregnancy. So I am Salt Nazi, Caffeine Patrol, Anti-Cold Deli Meat Coalition (will have more on this shortly) and all around pain in the ass for Amanda. But isn't that the role of loving husband?? I am simply trying to make this the best, smoothest pregnancy known to mankind (or womankind) haha.

 Get ready, you are about to get SCHOOLED. My tenure as a restaurant health inspector has implanted several key pieces of information in my noggin that will be key during this pregnancy. The biggest one would be the dangers associated with the bacteria known as Listeria monocytogenes. Some of you might have heard about the most recent outbreak of Listeria that occurred nationwide involving cantaloupes. It has killed 30 people nationwide and countless others were sick from it. Sure, your average health person in their 20's-40's will simply have a case of the Hershey squirts. For immune-compromised people (young children, old people and PREGNANT WOMEN), it can be a lot more serious. According to the CDC, L. monocytogenes infections in pregnancy can cause miscarriage, stillbirth, premature delivery, or life-threatening infection of the newborn. HOLY CRAP!!!!! Nothing short of STARTLING people.

Listeria is capable of growth in cold environments. YES this means your fridge is no match for this bacteria. Very few bacteria are stable in cold environments. Listeria is seen a lot in temperature abused deli meats. When Amanda wants her usual turkey on wheat from Subway, there will be no chance in HELL she will get a sandwich that hasn't had the deli meat nuked first. Pregnant ladies, do not consume cold deli meats just to be safe. Ask your sandwich artist to nuke the pants off of your deli meats. Georgia Food Code requires restaurants to discard items that have been kept for 7 days or longer. After 7 days, Listeria would have a high possibility of being an issue. That does not mean a restaurant won't sell you a sandwich with old ass meat on it. It just means they will be reprimanded for it during inspection or even more be the source of a food-borne illness investigation, which is not exactly good for business.

The irony is I have not been sick all year. But I'll be damned, I have been sick twice since we found out Amanda is pregnant... This goes back to the immune-compromised thing. She has a weakened immune system. I am now the walking bacteria. Go figure. That is all for tonight. Rant over.


WAIT!!! HOLD ON A MINUTE!!! Don't forget to do the same thing at home people. Pregnant women, microwave your deli meats and discard them after 7 days from purchase just to be safe. Actually, their is probably a better chance of Listeria infection from home than a regulated restaurant. That's it for tonight. I promise.

Due Date Countdown: 218 DAYS

I guess we need some filler? (not the Taco Bell meat ingredient..)

Daddy what did you want to be when you grew up?? Truth be told.... I had no earthly idea. Sure there was the astronaut phase (elementary school), but sad reality that aerospace engineering required TONS of math. Historically my math performance has been unsatisfactory, FOREVER. So that was removed at an early age. Military was next. Ever since I was a little tike, I wanted to be in the military like my Dad. Did all the right things, just couldn't get past the weight thing. It wasn't that I had difficulty losing weight, the problem was that I did not even try. So my laziness ruled that option out. What is left?


Nothing. the next closest thing I could come up with was during orientation at Valdosta State University. During orientation, everyone split up in to their prospective major. This created copious quantities of anxiety for me. The anxiety was completely related to my dumbass not being prepared for even college orientation. So I flashed back back to high school. What class did I like? The only thing truly enjoyed about high school (class-wise) was biology and anatomy taught by an awesome dude by the name of Mr. Miller. Back to orientation. I hear, "biology and pre-med folks follow me!" That statement alone was enough to catch my fancy. The rest is history.

Ok. So obviously the pre-med thing didn't work out, HA! If it did, this blog might be called From Physician to Daddy or some garbage like that. The end result is a piece of paper. An expensive one (wouldn't have been expensive if I would have got decent grades). What am I going to do with this piece of paper? Then the realization hit and it hit HARD. I don't know what to do now.

At no point did I think I was going to be a health inspector. But I'll be damned... I found something that I like WITH MY DEGREE!!!!!!! It has done wonders for my confidence and people skills. My co-workers are awesome and hilarious. I still have goals (ie: Master of Public Health, Registered EHS, county manager one day, etc). Public health is a fascinating field. It's multifaceted. I enjoy learning many new things at all times. Scary part, I am a government official........... uh what??

That's enough rambling for today. Plus, if I spill all the beans on the job, I am going to be hurting for posts later down the road.

Countdown to Due Date: 222 DAYS

I had better put my game face on, shit just got REAL.

This is Baby Hively. The next great mind to grace the planet (sound like a parent already, HA). Current stage is 8 weeks exactly or roughly 1.64cm. Some people use fruit to describe the size of the little one, I am going to try to use science... Damn! 1.64cm is already too big for the microbiological terms I had anticipated using. So I guess Baby Hively is a raspberry...

During our ultrasound, which by the way does NOT look fun, we were able to hear the heartbeat. a healthy 171bpm (beats per minute). Obviously once this was announced, the baby's sex speculation began. I guess urban legend would suggest heart rates about 140bpm and greater are typically female?? That's the word on the street, whether that is true or not, only time and modern imaging technology will tell.

The excitement level was immense when we saw and heard the hearbeat. But let me tell you, while she was scanning for brothers and sisters, my untrained eye thought it was multiple babies when in reality it was just one baby. The thought of multiple babies damn near gave me heart palpitations and felt three shades whiter.

All in all everything looked normal according to staff. Our new due date is July 23rd. Seems like a long way away and I am already anxious to see our baby for the first time!

Due Date Countdown: 223 DAYS

The next 8(ish) months...

Can the "American Dream" be achieved in a matter of months? Everyone's view of the "American Dream" differs. My thought process is satisfied with marriage, family, children, career and a home. So back to the initial question. Can my view of the American Dream be achieved up to the day of delivery?

Let's break this down:
Marriage - Married an amazing woman who happens to be the best RN on the planet
Family - Greatest parents and in-laws a guy could ask for.
Children - Our first child is on the way.
Career - Both Amanda and I will have settled nicely in to our respective careers
Home - ......Well our apartment is nice. But it fails to qualify in my current scenario of the American Dream. Plus we are throwing money down the drain.

The home is the only part we have to work on. As Amanda and I continue on with our daily lives and as the pregnancy clock ticks away, we realize that we do not want to be in this apartment when our baby is born.  Solution? You guessed it, we are going to buy a house! An outsider might think we are NUTS for trying to buy a house during all the madness of pregnancy. Maybe we are nuts, but it is going to happen! I am going to pledge that I will take as much of the stress of this on myself because the last thing we need is Amanda to be stricken to bed rest with preeclampsia (already learning some of the terms.) That's the plan and I am certain that nothing is going to be able to stop us from grasping our share of the American Dream.

Since we do not know exact due date yet, we'll count down to our next ultrasound appointment. Hopefully we will get our due date and hear a little heartbeat!!!!

Countdown until ultrasound appointment: 5 DAYS

The Beginning

Ok, it was suggested to me to start a blog during this process, journey or adventure. Here is the background to this blog. My name is Matt, I am a soon to be father (July-ish). My wife Amanda and I are ÜBER excited about it.

Regarding the name of this blog, I am indeed a Health Inspector. NO, I don't do restaurant inspections. I did for one year, just not anymore. Now I am an inspector of local swimming pools, septic installations and tourist accommodations. Might sound boring but is surprisingly fascinating. I will elaborate on it more later but just wanted to give a little tidbit.

So I guess to wrap it up, I AM TERRIFIED about this baby thing. I am really excited, but so many thoughts are rolling through my head. Science (biological/medical) I get, but maternity, child birth and infants are as foreign to me as calculus and calc-based physics. So welcome to my journey. Sit back, enjoy because it is going to be a bumpy road!!!

 Stay tuned for a due date countdown once it has been pinpointed!